Showing posts with label Jest for Jolly. Show all posts

And here I come...! ...This time around I have no answers to the world’s ills. Just more quizzical questions. As they (who?) say – the older you get the better you get.

Me thinks – the older – the more perplexed!

Here goes my catechism.

1. What's short, sweet and lasts a week?
My paycheck.

2. What’s long, hard and makes you sweat in the nights?
Shae! Dirty minds! Work Nights. what else?

3. I'm finally in my flirty 30's but I will not be 31 or 32 the next year or the one after that - True statement. How?
Because Tooth#31 and Tooth #32 are now decoratives in the bowl that whets the wet dream of my definitely male betta

Visit to the torture chamber Dentist : A female colleague from work in the dentist’s waiting area with the most immaculate teeth ever. Wonder why she needs a dentist. Wait. Definitely porcelain dentures. Made in China.
Exchange pleasantries while she pleasantly bares her pearlies and I deftly move over to death sorry! dentist’s chair:

Dentist: Born in Mumbai, Made in America. Deadly female species. Pours over my mouth while I go one tooth and several dollars lesser.

L/reva's Dentis ‘isms”:

• “You should brush your teeth” Yes, My mother tells me that for FREE.
• “Did you have all these problems in India” No, because they don’t sell toothbrushes there. We still brush with neem twigs (which by the way are more cost and medicinally effective than Oral B brushes that flex your muscles more than themselves!)
• “You should floss” Yes! with moss. Because I’ve tried everything else.
• “Your gums are weak. You should get hem checked often” My bank balance is weak too which makes me get my eyes checked more often to make sure I’m seeing the balance right!
• “You might bleed a bit during the procedure” 2 Trays were changed because they resembled the lagoons in my hometown in Kerala. Only the liquid in this lagoon wasn't colorless but bright,red and didn’t have women in petticoats bathing in it. Or men in Lungi’s half squatting doing their “thing” with a chombu (vessel) in hand.
• “You should eat rich food” Yeah maybe that will compensate for my current state of dental, mental and fiscal poverty .
• “You should use this *** mouthwash for a clean mouth” Yes for a clean stomach too. Because the chlororhexadiene tastes like phenyl mixed with wheat grass juice that clean your teeth and appetite for hours!

4. What is color psychology at work?
Black and Red are corporate colors that spell "Serious Business". Using them to portray a tough “I am a meanie” image of you at work is how, my dear sugar and honey pots, we women let color psychology do the talking at work.

Black
To show your hard mettle, the tough fabric of morality that your character is made of and your undying determination to persist through very straining times at work show go black. It will make everyone else go banana pale yellow.
In days of yore Priests wore black to signify submission to God. Black means you surrender to work. Work encompasses your life. You are the woman on top ;)
Friendly and noted leaders, like Dracula, often wear black. Fear. Donning black makes you look fearless. Like Mamta Kulkarni, who I heard is naming a train after herself. I can already read the headlines. Mamta Express derailed.

Red
Color of love. You love what you do. Work. You absolutely love waking up at 7 in the morning driving 20 miles to look at black, white and red screens and beating the same 20 miles back to get to home just in time to catch the late night show with David Letterman or watch Abhishek and Aishwarya on Oprah - Thankfully this time Oprah is made to wear a saree. Because no length of saree is enough to cover any part of her!

So there I go in Black Nail polish and Paan stained Red teeth to work for one full week. True statement. I can get a colleague to testify. (I bought him a white shirt. Think White, Think Peace! Think White coats, Think Dentist. SHUDDER!)

That’s another fundamental principle of color psychology. Camouflage, The boss sits in another office. Hee, Hee! Hayyo!

5. What needs to go up for you to know how far below in rock bottom you are?
Hope. And maybe a dwindling bottom. Sorry. Let me correct that, Yes! A dwindling posterior. But more on that later.

6. Define Hope?
That exotic dancer that on whom I accidentally spilt buttermilk in a flight to Las Vegas.
What we live on when everything else goes the gravity way – DOWN.
What keeps our spirits up – Wait a minute, Innit the other way round? Don’t spirits (Tequila, Vodka, Margarita) keep our hope up?

7. Dwindling posterior?
Excessive sitting on your posterior in office chair leads to a loss of grey and muscle matter. So 5 miles a day on the pacific coast highway. Sigh! The bottom is hard hit L

I hope you ladies have your Kleenex ready because you are just going to drool like b*tches.

Picture this.
Comfortably ensconced on a promontory in the western most point in Southern California overlooking the sea on a Full Moon night. Wind blowing through my long freshly Semi Permanent Burgundy Brown hair. A very tall and dear friend in the vicinity pensively watching the whole Pacific Coast raging against the cliffs.

Walking in the 3rd street Promenade, Rodeo Drive, Sunset Strip that house all the designer brands in the world. Pseudo Parisian High!

If I’ve been working hard, I’ve been partying HARDER!

I’m 25 years young for the next 12 days and I’m living it up in LA.

Bah! Dum di da dee!!

Who are you?
Not Spiderman, Not his Peter Chaacha either. I am Lafemmereva.

He, He! But with great power comes great responsibility no? Forgotten your responsibility to slog?
Slog?

Yeah! Social Service + Blog = Slog. Entertaining public is social service no?
Oh! Like that! Was a bit confused. You suddenly started sounding like my boss. Slogging and all. Yeah. With great power comes big electricity bills too! Unless you can rig the meter.

Yeah! where is lafemmereva these days?
Pulling through and getting pushed.

Birdie told me she last saw you in some pub with ahem! some females. So is it all true.
Yeah. Its true.

Did you hear the cracking of hearts of all eligible men that you have been accused of leading on?
Bah! Nothing like that. Girlfriend was leaving for India for good. So farewell party and all in some swanky club. Me will never crossover!

I also heard your neighbors moved out.
Yeah, victims of recession.

No, the ones that stay across your bedroom window.
Oh them, that couple? Yeah. Last week I was sitting in front of my comp, wearing a Tube top, pinging the girls to get ready to go for the above said party and the lady in the balcony could see just the shoulders with the laptop covering all below. She assumed I was in my naked birthday suit and immediately evacuated her house 911 style. Haven't seen her since.

2 new Indian men in that house now. One wears baniyan with holes. Another is a paan eating bong - like the ones on Howrah trains. Always eating paan and spitting red rain on the head of the latino chick who lives below. I'm sure she is saving a lot on her hair dye. Awesome streaks, I must say!

How’s life otherwise?
Nature is having PMS here. Tornado, heat, rain, hail all in a day's work! Terrible mood swings.

How’s work?
It is there. Lots and Lots and Lots of it. So thankfully I am there too. Lost and Lots in it. Hence the delay in all posts and comments.

Personal updates?
Discovered the answer to 2 profound questions.

The questions being?
1. When do boys become men?
2. Can a few women live in the same house?

How did you find the answer?
1. Straw (my 1.5 year old nephew) no longer poops all over the house. When he wants to do the .....he gets up goes behind a closed door, does "it" and then wails for his mom to come and clean the ....
He now seeks his own "space" while pooping. That's when boys become men. When they seek "space" . Also, that's their idea of toilet training. Getting someone to clean their sh*t. That's the first corporate lesson they learn too.

2. Yes. Women can live in the same house in Ekta Kapoor serials. Exchanging cold stares like America and Russia do at times.
Else, they cannot even live in the same zip code.

So from when you last wrote we now have a new government and a new cabinet.
Yes with the government easier to form than the cabinet.

So tell us what happened at the party?
2 girlfriends (GF 1 & GF 2), one of their fiancé’s (GF 1's) nd I go to the heppest pub in town. Great music, ambience and decent crowd.

L.Reva gets a coke of the "diet" variety and the remaining two femme fatales head to the bar stand to grab "Screwdrivers". GF 1 & 2 are the party going types. Fiance is a smart and fashionable guy albeit a bit introverted but fun nevertheless from close quarters.

Girlfriend 1's fiancée gets water of the "Aquafina" variety.

Girlfriend gives him a "U curd rice eating socially reclusive, fit for being a screwed up driver fiancée" look at him. (Fiancé is the designated driver for the evening!)

He returns a "I am a sensible man who is drinking what a designated driver is supposed to. Let's get back home and I’ll show you how a driver can screw" look at her.

Fiancé seated next to me and we both talk about how "Hot springs" in Yellowstone National Park are a tad better than the Hot Springs in Manikaran in India. He and I are similar types.
Totally out of place. All talk no action ;)

2 Indian guys in the table next to us.

Guy 1: Machchan, that Indian babe (Girlfriend 1) is awesome.
Guy 2: Yeah . But but I think that guy in the table is her fiancé
Guy 1: No, He's her fiancé (gesturing to me). See how they are both seated at the table
chatting so happily. Those 2 girls are at the bar waiting for their "prey".
Guy 2: Not sure..it's that way..I'm pretty sure I saw him (Fiancé) kiss her (Girlfriend 1).

Guy 1 makes a beeline to bar and starts checking out girlfriend 1. Getting uncomfortable GF 1 makes starts drawing SOS heart signs to her fiance.

Fiancé mans up thrusts his chest forward - a 6 feet 200 pound man!!!! and walks to the bar stand.

All 3 of us and almost everyone in the bar stand gets ready for a bar brawl and start cheering the pair in eager anticipation of a spicy bar brawl when the fiancé puts his hand on the guy's shoulders draws very close to him and whispers in his ear "Dude, U look like my type .Shall we get together tonight"

I have never seen a Guy rush out of the bar faster.

The whole pub roared in mirth and saluted the fiancé . Drinks and food on the house !

And the rest of the party was incident free.:)

Ha!! So you are back with a late but latest story…!!
When did I ever leave to be back?

Part 1 is here.

Such wishful thinking occupied my thoughts until the cab came to a halt in my portico and I paid the cab driver the fare when he asked "Are you from India"?

"You are from India, right"?
L/r: (Making a intimidating gesture of taking the biryani back from the cabbie): Yes!
Cabbie: "Have you read Kamasutra?"

I stood there with horror, embarrassment, wrath and all the relatives in that family of words surfacing in me.

(I sported a look that I once saw on my dad's face when I asked him why it took him 7 years to make me after my sister was born. Of course I didn't ask him how they made me or her. Since we were both winter babies I know it must have been one of those hot, sweaty, summery afternoons).

Anyways, back to cabbie. In moments of such crisis we mallu women let actions speak louder than words. So I ran like he had ripped off a fart bomb. I never looked back once.

*************************************************************************************

Putting back the day behind me I decided to put my feet up and watch a sitcom. But my bedmate of several years Murphy is very clingy. He always has his way. Like when he calls his laws and decides to have a threesome when you do don't want to.

So his laws did come calling in the form of a girl friend who was in an earth shattering crisis:

Friend: Do you think XYZ's food blogs are good? I think she takes a pic of the dishes at the restaurant she goes to every week and puts it up.

XYZ is a genuinely fab cook and has kept my taste buds engaged for over a year now.

Now if you are a MAN and if you were to solve this crisis what would you do?

I'll tell you. You'll tell the friend that a work call came up and hang up, turn on the sports channel and watch women wrestle on WWF.

But me? I woman up and face the crisis and resolve it. So I say:

"Do you know Macy's has a half off sale" and the food blog never came up in the 45 minute call again.

Call done and the feet ache to rest and I think that my day couldn't have been as bad as my sister's who had to be a donkey , elephant and a kangaroo all in the same day depending on whether Straw( my nephew) wanted to go on fours or get on her back.

*************************************************************************************
And I close my eyes and imagine a white vast expanse of shell filled beach, a beach house and a warm cuppa coffee. Fellas, I have to ask ye wise minds. Is there some Get-rich-Quick scheme that makes me all Warren Buffety in no time so I can relinquish this paycheck to paycheck existence and hang up my heels once in for all?

Now before you go all Warren Buffety on me and say "Predicting the rain doesn't matter, building the ark does" let me tell you tweeples - I bought my lottery ticket on the way back home!!

Bah!!!

Related Posts: Who wants to be a a billionaire?

Bah!! I haven't started a party and all.

Since polls are the order of the day in India I shall also pander to my audience's fancy by offering them with one:

What pisses you off incurs your wrath more?

Option 1: Staring a vacation series and not taking it to closure?

Option 2: Writing an excuse for a post such as this to apologise for it?

I will not judge your orientation you based on your choice above.

Lafemmereva pleads guilty of clocking 12 hrs everyday doing what, don't ask! and sincerely vows to once in for all blog about the remainder of her vacation series, no later than the end of this week, to explicate herself from the heinous crime of not entertaining her readership.
Bah, Lafemmereva is feeling compunctious and all. Compunctious is not to be understood as being punctual about commas.

But in the meantime for those that don't have a clue what I am talking about please fall prey to this third rate tactic that we (bloggers) use to ensure our older babbles posts are trashed read.

So the homework for this day is to read the following:

Part 1 : Homecoming Series #1 - Fasten your seat belts

Part 2 : Homecoming Series #2 - Wheels in motion, Mission Half accomplished!

Part 3: Coming soon.....

By the blogger, for the blogger, of the blogger. Totally. No! Seriously not contesting elections.

Related Posts:
Homecoming Series #1 - Fasten your seat belts
Homecoming Series #2 - Wheels in motion, Mission Half accomplished!

Run - For Cover: God made pants. And they were conjoined to the bodies of men from the day they were born.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

In Hamlet, Polonius says this to his son Laertes before he goes to Paris.

And 10 out of 10 fathers/mothers would have told their 20 something teenagers this before they left home for their first jobs.

So, if you had paid some heed to your dad/mom's word you would have taken stock of your finances today and got the maximum fun out of your Refund (Tax). Else you've missed the bus and now have to run after the extension bus.

Bah! what did our folks have to worry about as 20 somethings. Just bell bottoms, afros and humongous shades. I may have looked something like this if was a teen in the 70's.

Good night! Dream on for a new day beckons you with it's endless possibilities. Like it did for Matt tonight. Would Matt Giraud have ever thought before going to bed last night that he would herald a new American 'Idol' first for being "saved" by the judges?

This is my real story. All characters are definitely alive and kicking.

You are not the first to read this story. D.Rishi had the privilege of the first read today evening. After reading he said "It was poetic justice for what I did to you".

Circa 1988 Thursday 11:59 am- My name was B.Reva. I was in UKG - B section. I wore green shirt flaps. I was very short, fat and resembled a mud roller, faintly, when I walked.

It was recess time. I was drinking the Bournvita that the domestic help brought to school everyday. Kids were playing in the hot sun in the playground. The Bournvita unleashed the animal in me. We ran to the playground - My tummy and I.

From nowhere a boy pelted a stone at my tummy. The last words I heard were a kid's voice saying "Short, stout, looser " My tummy and I doubled in pain. The perpetrator was D.Rishi. Dog Rishi! The other kids jeered, booed and called me a wuss before the hot sun closed in on me.

I went home crying. Mom inquired. I narrated the woeful tale. She asked me to watch Camouflage Animal watch - a Discovery Channel video. In retrospect I think I learnt my first valuable lesson in life that day - How an animal camouflages and waits at it's prey's usual watering hole.

Circa 1988 Friday 11:59 am

Same setting - Help has brought the drink . This time, Boost. Secret of my energy. His back is turned to me. I make timid steps. D. Rishi is having a sandwich in the shades of the mangrove in the distance. I crouch towards him stealthily. I pick up a stone and hurl it at him. Stone's trajectory makes a parabolic motion and he turns his head just in time to see it coming at him, full throttle, with the velocity of Soviet WW rocket. 4 of his incisors were history that day. They were permanent teeth.

Mother cheered from the pavement nearby. The domestic help whistled. After all they were the architects of the victory. Mother picked the weapon. Domestic help delivered it to me, with Boost.

The secret of my victory, Our Victory - Boost.

Circa 2008 Tuesday 6:37 pm XYZ Airport.

My name is B.Reva. I am in zyx Company. I wear Manolo Blahnik.

I was leafing through a magazine. A man sat next to me. He occupied two seats. Reflex action - I checked him out. I saw a flash of white. I leaned to take a closer look. His incisors were whiter than the rest of the teeth. He was short and stout. He was yakking on phone. I heard my school's name . He was on a roll. So was his tummy. He hung up. I asked his name.

I asked if he remembered B.Reva. He held his breath. He complimented that I was not how he remembered me or how he thought I would turn out to be. Shy came. I blushed a bit. A dog owner passed by. My Train of thoughts - Dog. Rishi. Dog Rishi. Boost. Animal. Camouflage. Prey. Mother. D/Help. Pavement. Cheer. Victory.

We hugged customarily and promised to "Poke" each other on Facebook.

Circa 2008 Tuesday 6:57 pm XYZ Airport

Last boarding call for me. His flight was a couple of hours after mine. I called my mother trying to balance a piece of paper in one hand and the phone in the other. I said a few words. Mother cheered. She said I had given myself my best birthday present ever. It was my birthday, that day. I was born at 6:57 PM. Talk about timing.

D.Rishi missed his flight. His boarding pass, a piece of paper needed to board a flight, was missing. Security issues. They refused to print him a new one unless he cleared security again. He waited 2 more hours before they could get him a new one for the next flight.

Later on that night he thought felt a tug when he hugged me. He thought it was his tummy coming in our way. Not my hand reaching for the paper which I held in my hand while telling Mother what I had done and trashed in a dumpster before boarding.

I need to go now and "Poke" him on Facebook.

He says we are now officially even.

Moral of the story - Mummy knows best . So stop sucking your thumb :P !!!

Of late I have been working extended hours.Yawn! Some general, lame, corny excuse of the last order about giving some worth in return for the money I take home:P I know!

It would have been be a sacrilege if I hadn't taken time off to watch Adam "Guy Liner wearing" Lambert's performance on today's Idol.

And publicize my allegiance to him in my status in Orkut, Facebook, Office email signature ...Wait a minute!!!

Adam is definitely one of the most innovative singer ever on Idol and there is yet another feather in this lad's hat as an outcome of his performance tonight. Of course, it takes a L/reva, bestowed with the powers of acute observation to bring such monumental feats to your attention.

Only a A. Lambert can :

• Get away with "performing" in a blue movie light setting and also have his family watch him LIVE in "action":P
• And actually also have America vote for him for the same.
• And maybe even go on to win the idol.
• And maybe even make a record.
• And delay our bed time because we need to blog about some random thing so as to entertain faithful blog readers personalities like Adam Lambert seeing whom male teens get a brainwave to cut costs by sharing their girlfriend's eyeliner and black nail shade, all to look fashionable. (Maybe its PAYBACK time. We stole their fashion -trousers, shirts even ties. They steal our liner ,black nail shades and long hairstyles. A very karma levelling phenomenon).
  
• And have you and me get our lazy bottoms to work in the morning so we can download his song from torrent itunes.

So, Girls and Boys vote for All pay and no work Adam Lambert and get your 80 cents, while I email my English teacher from school (keeping Wren and Martin in copy) that they were hoodwinking us all these years. We CAN construct full meaningful sentences in English that begin with "And"( like I did in the bullets above) and have several adults reading this google for that long lost treasure they once posessed called Wren and Martin.

And wonder if that is all that they needed to ace their GRE/GMAT/TOEFL.

On a serious note - Kudos! I am contemplating using A.L's soul and subsequently goosebumps stirring rendition of "Mad world" as a grave "skin condition" to take off work tomorrow.

Just one small roadblock - My boss has subscribed to my blog feed :( Sigh!

Just back from a dear friend's house who is quitting work soon to go back to school.

If I ever go back to school for my masters education, on the first day of school I would oil and center part my hair, double plait it with black ribbons, wear a pinafore dress ending several inches below the knee, carry a slate & chalk to take notes.

In a custom painted pink Volkswagen Beetle car with Pink Floyd music blaring loudly.

In horn rimmed spectacles.

Now don't go see my profile pic :P

Okay, I have been working with computers last few years so I do know a bit about managing my site :)

Thanks to all those who mailed me all through the last hour frantically saying the site was down.

You see, I am touched by your concern. No really. Honored to know this site is monitored 24x7.

Just got some kicks out of tickling your funny bones by bringing it down intentionally for a while.

Caught ya, Happy April Fool's day!!!!


If you were not one of those who mailed me saying the site was down you obviously must be patting yourself on the back for saving yourself the blushes.

How about this? I am planning on sending a gift to all those who mailed me!! Loyalty rewards program you see!

Ha!!!

Hi,

I am the Southener. Remember me? I am a day late. Sorry. I was vacationing in Hawaii. I suggest you all also vacation there more often. Natural beauty(ies) in its abundance ;) Lafemereva is planning to vacation in Hawaii this holiday season after seeing the pics I brought back!

Today I write about an Idea that destroyed many student lives.

Everyone was living a life of peace and quietude. Students were passing all their exams, percentage of educated people were rising. One sadistic Russian did not like this at all. So kabooooom one night, high on a lot of vodka and potatoes, he got an idea and developed a table which wreaked complete havoc amongst the student crowd. Some failed, some left academics, many went mad, there was total chaos. The percentage of educated fell at an exponential rate, and till date it still tortures the daylights out of people. I am talking about Dmitri Mendeleev and his periodic table. This is very close to my heart as even after burning the midnight oil I still get confused between Ca and Na. To add to my woes nowadays in movies (Like Dasavatharam (Tamil)) people have started using terms like Nacl instead of common salt. The day is not far when I have to go to an arrack shop and ask for Ch3Oh.

Structure of methanol:


Related Posts:
Southener Series - Numero Uno - Idea that helped create a multi-million dollar empire
Southener Series - Numero Deux - Idea that helped create a multi-million dollar tool

I had seen almost all movies worthy of being watched so I decided to stay in and watch my favorite TV shows while cuddled on the couch in my pajamas with my favorite date - Hagen Dazs.

The doorbell rings and she rushed in her saturday night best. She hadn't called on me in a long time and thankfully that didn't stop her from calling on me in her hour of distress.

Looking every inch the chic girl I knew her to be, my friend walked in to narrate a woeful tale of how she went out to a movie with a friend whose husband tagged along as well. What was planned to be a girl's night out turned out to be a nightmare for this friend. The couple apparently cooed and canoodled while my friend was left feeling terrible for the lack of similar attention. Half way through she left the movie and headed straight to meet me and ask - Was she suffering from the disease of being single?

A lot of what I say is what a friend of mine told me a very long time ago when I went to him while being in a similar quandary myself. Very long ago on a friday night I was stood up by all my friends who were cozying up with their significant others leaving me to brave the night alone on my couch. Just me and Hagen Dazs. Being new to this country and being single was a double whammy. So I called a friend of 9 years - Let's call him Mr. Lafayette, whom I thank for being my sounding board on several occasions till date, instilling in me a strong sense of direction.

At the risk of stating the obvious I say it - Couplehood is the most trendy label. Society and hormones enforce it's necessity and subsequent popularity. I dare not disagree. You always have someone to wake up to, talk to, do things with, someone to buy you gifts on your birthday someone to make you feel like a million bucks!

So the million dollar question - why are some of us still single?

It's not because someone left us or vice versa. No we are not dorks, nerds, geeks or social recluses. We are not too picky or foolishly eternally in wait for "The One" to come along. It could be all that too, but in a large majority of cases it is a self made choice.

Being single doesn't make sense as a conscious choice because of its popular association with leading a miserable life ALONE! It is looked at widely only as a transitory phase - a sort of lean period before couplehood rules the roost, again!

Singlehood is truly just that - a transitory phase. Nobody dies an old maid. Not even if you a serial casanova or a resident of the land of commitment phobia. Every single crosses over to the other side of the fence eventually.

Being single, for lack of a better word, can suck. Putting yourself out in the dating scene every friday night can seem a daunting task to many. A huge slap on the face of self esteem but we need to remind ourselves of the principle that got us all through college- To get an admit you need to apply! The best part is you meet some good eggs, some bad ones but for the most part you do meet a lot of bright minds.

Do you know that my best investment is not in Prada, Fendi or Burberry. Its my investment in self improvement. I am a good cook, I manage my finances, I get to spend my money without having anyone to tell me how. I have the time to prep for a marathon, to be with my friend's pets, to visit parents more often, to travel extensively across the country, rediscover old friends and new cultures.

If you have been or are newly single invest all of your time in learning to love and care about that one person who can satisfy all your needs - Yourself. This way you are reducing your sure shot as hell encounter with an overdose of disappointment when your dream of finding the one to fill the void within your soul is unrealized. It is a void that only we can truly fill ourselves. Having a significant other hardly bolsters your stability. If anything it brings with it an extra person , an extra baggage. You need the"other" to complement you. Not fill you.
Foolishly hoping the partner to fill in the gaps results in endless resentment - a vicious state which entails unnecessary extra marital ventures spelling the marital doom.

Like the proverbial dark cloud having a silver lining there are a zillion pros to being single. Discover them through your personal journey. Example?
If you are a girl you can shop all you want and don't have to hide your stuff in the closet and pretend to have had it since ages. And if you are a guy you can do with her not having to borrow your razor for quick "silky smooth legs".

Celebrate being single. Remember that's what the soap Sex and the city showed us! Before you have that unsettling feeling that I am suggesting you romp around your city with no tag of commitment involved, you are wrong. Nor am I suggesting that you all live vicariously through Charlotte/Miranda/Carrie/Samantha. I am urging you all to make your discoveries, learn your own lessons. Become a better you! Trust me relationships are high maintenance and time consuming. Use all the time you have at hand NOW! Love happens when you least expect it to!

So tell yourself - Come date night, will party! Sure you could get stood up or end up feeling left out at times when your friends liplock. That's when girlfriends/guyfriends come to the rescue. Like I went to my friend's today and like my friend came to mine in the distant past!

And for those nights in get a good couch and a pair of running shoes. Hagen Dazs fat free version is still a good 280 calories that you need to burn the next morning!!!

P.S. #1 Friend just drove away , a couple of hours and scoops of double fudge sundaes later, feeling much better, promising to call on me more often:) She is sure she will not die an "Old Maid" now!
P.S. #2 Lafayette asks to be described a a guy who has the bod of a greek god! His email will be made available upon request.

Related Posts:
Open letter to my one and only mallu chekkan
To my Tam Brahm GF'S 'agonosing' aunts

The only image more visually enticing than the bank balance at the end of the month, is the one below:



Things to do tomorrow:

1. Sleep in

2. Eat foot long subs in foot deep snow

3. Throw snowballs *intentionally* and apologise

4. Send emails every 5 minutes as proof of *not* working from home

This is *fool's paradise* life.

Many thanks to all ye people for the e-group hug.

The virus felt isolated,
I felt elated.

Mwah Mwah!



Related posts:
This day,This year,Right here,Right now
Happy Birthday - Bacteria!

Read *this* first . And now armed with the big story read below.

This day will go down in the annals of history not as World Tuberculosis day.
Not as the day lafemmereva woke up early in the morning to get her skin
pricked because she was guile enough to go to some prick's party and
sportingly hosted one of her own in her body.

She is such a gracious host!!!

The 24th day in the month of March in the year of 2009 in the
Gregorian calendar will henceforth be fondly recollected as that day
when l/reva realized that It's not a man's world after all and sometimes a
girl can have all the luck!

Scene at the doc's. The results are out.

Lafemmereva : Tumhare paas kya hain?
Doc : Mere paas bacteria hain! Tumhare paas kya hain?
Lafemmereva : State of the art, world class immune system

The joke is on the doc who has the flu of the stomach...Me? All I have
is good KARMA! ;)

Related Posts:
Happy Birthday Bacteria
It's a girl!

Will I live to 89? Yes - good karma and digestion willing.

Will I be blogging? Yes - Internet and good eyesight willing.

Will I be living with my children? Yes. I''ll Drop everything on the floor, not make my bed, hang up the phone just as someone walks into the room, spill my food on the table and when questioned, I'll tell them - I'm giving you a taste of your childhood. I'm doing to you rascals what you did to me when you were kids.

Will I be hale and healthy? Yes. Doctor and surgery willing.

No, not the surgeries of the heart or some such vital organ our biology teachers made us draw in school. I'm talking about the more essential ones -The cosmetic nip/tuck types. A tuck here and a nip there! When nature lets you down technology has to step in, correct?

None of what I said above for *this* nanny.

Did she just wow! you? This Granny is on a high!! Go Granny Go!

Especially this part - "Asked about her election message to voters, she said: "I am upset when I see a lot of youths turning to drugs and there are not enough schools. If chosen, I will make it all better."

A request to the Granny....How about advocating for lowering the cost of dental insurance? We both have that issue in common!

*Obama need look no farther for a face for his drug eradication efforts across the border.

Related Post: It's a Girl

Santa has a good idea. He visits people once a year - with gifts. So does the virus/bacteria - with fever. See - History repeats.

And the Doc is not even half as good as Santa. The virus is not half as bad as the Doc.

Doc delivered the fab news that I may possibly have a minor virus/ bacteria issue. He said it was the in - thing in my neighbourhood.

A a couple of days ago I went to a bash thrown by a kind neighbour who was leaving the country for good. A "milk" dessert was served. In the toast, I thought I saw a sly grin on his face when he said "I hope I am leaving behind something for you all to remember".

Today is World Tuberculosis day. Bacterium's favorite day. Maybe all the bacteria in the world decided to party in my body and are hungover on the remnants of the milk from the dessert. I am honored to be their host!

Oh! My doc, also my neighbour, was in that party :)

You may want to read these too:
This day, this year, right here, right now
To-you-ma-darlingmwahhhh

A tense and stressful 6 hrs passed with concern about an ailing kin today. I usually am a make-up person and smile is my favorite cosmetic. Stress as you know is the worst concealer.

Frantic calls, lots of pacing up-and-down-the-corridor and endless cups of coffee was becoming the order of the day. As things progressed I decided to take mind off things. I walked into my office break room where we all gather to heat our lunch in the microwave unit.

Scene: Two microwave units in the break-room and I am waiting my turn near one of them as both are occupied by two ladies (who sit near my workstation and are remarkable witty. I so so so love them for regaling me with their wisecracks everyday)

Lady 1: "I am going to rush to the restroom while my lunch gets heated in the oven".

Saying so, she times the m/wave unit to a minute and goes to the restroom for doing "it".
Lady 2 and I engage in small talk.

Lady 1 returns from the restroom just as the one-minute timer on her m/wave unit is about to go off. She reaches to take her lunch out of the oven and while doing so sports a "I don't believe this" kind of expression.

Lady 2 (seeing Lady 1 's expression speaks): "You are surprised your food can be so frozen that even a minute in the oven hasn't done it any good?"

Lady 1: "No! , I never knew I could do "it" in the restroom in less than a minute."

Lady 2: Don't tell the manager this or she will time us to do "it" in less than a minute and add that as a performance measure in our appraisal!!!!

:) And just like that I smiled.....again....

And yes, I did time myself during my next trip .....and I'm sure you will too!!!!

Just when you thought I had forgotten about it...Here I come.

Hi,

I am the Southener. If we haven't met before..Pls read this. Thanks!

Foresight:
Our Italian mastermind invented a device which he used to letch at this beautiful girl next door, who moved out to the next locality, so he just increased the power of this device, and then she moved to the next city and then town and then country, and the genius that he was went on increasing the distance till which he could see his old haunt, and very soon abracadabra .......Galileo had created a telescope.

Cya next Sunday.

Related Post: Southener Series - Numero Uno - Idea that helped create a multi-million dollar empire