Part 1 is here.
Such wishful thinking occupied my thoughts until the cab came to a halt in my portico and I paid the cab driver the fare when he asked "Are you from India"?
L/r: Yes
Cabbie: You guys make good biryani.
L/r (thinking) We also put pepper spray in the eyes of "nosey" cabbies
L/r: Yes. I gotta go. BBye
Cabbie: Can you give me some Biryani. I haven't had my lunch.
Unless frozen instant biryanis count I am not aware of any Indian home in the US that stocks biryanis on a weekday. But this was no ordinary weekday what with it being a Monday.
Sunday's leftovers get a makeover to become Monday's carryovers.
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Yesterday evening I went out with a friend who finally came to his senses and decided to end his abusive relationship with my refrigerator. He agreed not to drop into my house uninvited and rape my fridge and feed on her every evening. Mother's day seemed like a nice day to make a fresh start. So we went to an Indian restaurant that seemed to have bundled the leftovers biryanis from nearby Indian restaurants. Unable to offend the host I asked to take it home.
So when the cabbie asked for the biriyani the mallu munificence in me swelled up and I went home and thrust the biryani in the cabbie's hands and turned to go when he asked:
Cabbie: You guys make good biryani.
L/r (thinking) We also put pepper spray in the eyes of "nosey" cabbies
L/r: Yes. I gotta go. BBye
Cabbie: Can you give me some Biryani. I haven't had my lunch.
Unless frozen instant biryanis count I am not aware of any Indian home in the US that stocks biryanis on a weekday. But this was no ordinary weekday what with it being a Monday.
Sunday's leftovers get a makeover to become Monday's carryovers.
*************************************************************************************
Yesterday evening I went out with a friend who finally came to his senses and decided to end his abusive relationship with my refrigerator. He agreed not to drop into my house uninvited and rape my fridge and feed on her every evening. Mother's day seemed like a nice day to make a fresh start. So we went to an Indian restaurant that seemed to have bundled the leftovers biryanis from nearby Indian restaurants. Unable to offend the host I asked to take it home.
So when the cabbie asked for the biriyani the mallu munificence in me swelled up and I went home and thrust the biryani in the cabbie's hands and turned to go when he asked:
"You are from India, right"?
L/r: (Making a intimidating gesture of taking the biryani back from the cabbie): Yes!
Cabbie: "Have you read Kamasutra?"
I stood there with horror, embarrassment, wrath and all the relatives in that family of words surfacing in me.
(I sported a look that I once saw on my dad's face when I asked him why it took him 7 years to make me after my sister was born. Of course I didn't ask him how they made me or her. Since we were both winter babies I know it must have been one of those hot, sweaty, summery afternoons).
Anyways, back to cabbie. In moments of such crisis we mallu women let actions speak louder than words. So I ran like he had ripped off a fart bomb. I never looked back once.
*************************************************************************************
Putting back the day behind me I decided to put my feet up and watch a sitcom. But my bedmate of several years Murphy is very clingy. He always has his way. Like when he calls his laws and decides to have a threesome when you do don't want to.
So his laws did come calling in the form of a girl friend who was in an earth shattering crisis:
Friend: Do you think XYZ's food blogs are good? I think she takes a pic of the dishes at the restaurant she goes to every week and puts it up.
XYZ is a genuinely fab cook and has kept my taste buds engaged for over a year now.
Now if you are a MAN and if you were to solve this crisis what would you do?
I'll tell you. You'll tell the friend that a work call came up and hang up, turn on the sports channel and watch women wrestle on WWF.
But me? I woman up and face the crisis and resolve it. So I say:
"Do you know Macy's has a half off sale" and the food blog never came up in the 45 minute call again.
Call done and the feet ache to rest and I think that my day couldn't have been as bad as my sister's who had to be a donkey , elephant and a kangaroo all in the same day depending on whether Straw( my nephew) wanted to go on fours or get on her back.
*************************************************************************************
And I close my eyes and imagine a white vast expanse of shell filled beach, a beach house and a warm cuppa coffee. Fellas, I have to ask ye wise minds. Is there some Get-rich-Quick scheme that makes me all Warren Buffety in no time so I can relinquish this paycheck to paycheck existence and hang up my heels once in for all?
Now before you go all Warren Buffety on me and say "Predicting the rain doesn't matter, building the ark does" let me tell you tweeples - I bought my lottery ticket on the way back home!!
Bah!!!
Related Posts: Who wants to be a a billionaire?
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