Who wants to be a billionaire - Part 2  

Posted by lafemmereva in

Part 1 is here.

Such wishful thinking occupied my thoughts until the cab came to a halt in my portico and I paid the cab driver the fare when he asked "Are you from India"?

L/r: Yes
Cabbie: You guys make good biryani.
L/r (thinking) We also put pepper spray in the eyes of "nosey" cabbies
L/r: Yes. I gotta go. BBye
Cabbie: Can you give me some Biryani. I haven't had my lunch.

Unless frozen instant biryanis count I am not aware of any Indian home in the US that stocks biryanis on a weekday. But this was no ordinary weekday what with it being a Monday.
Sunday's leftovers get a makeover to become Monday's carryovers.

*************************************************************************************
Yesterday evening I went out with a friend who finally came to his senses and decided to end his abusive relationship with my refrigerator. He agreed not to drop into my house uninvited and rape my fridge and feed on her every evening. Mother's day seemed like a nice day to make a fresh start. So we went to an Indian restaurant that seemed to have bundled the leftovers biryanis from nearby Indian restaurants. Unable to offend the host I asked to take it home.

So when the cabbie asked for the biriyani the mallu munificence in me swelled up and I went home and thrust the biryani in the cabbie's hands and turned to go when he asked:


"You are from India, right"?
L/r: (Making a intimidating gesture of taking the biryani back from the cabbie): Yes!
Cabbie: "Have you read Kamasutra?"


I stood there with horror, embarrassment, wrath and all the relatives in that family of words surfacing in me.

(I sported a look that I once saw on my dad's face when I asked him why it took him 7 years to make me after my sister was born. Of course I didn't ask him how they made me or her. Since we were both winter babies I know it must have been one of those hot, sweaty, summery afternoons).

Anyways, back to cabbie. In moments of such crisis we mallu women let actions speak louder than words. So I ran like he had ripped off a fart bomb. I never looked back once.

*************************************************************************************

Putting back the day behind me I decided to put my feet up and watch a sitcom. But my bedmate of several years Murphy is very clingy. He always has his way. Like when he calls his laws and decides to have a threesome when you do don't want to.

So his laws did come calling in the form of a girl friend who was in an earth shattering crisis:

Friend: Do you think XYZ's food blogs are good? I think she takes a pic of the dishes at the restaurant she goes to every week and puts it up.

XYZ is a genuinely fab cook and has kept my taste buds engaged for over a year now.

Now if you are a MAN and if you were to solve this crisis what would you do?

I'll tell you. You'll tell the friend that a work call came up and hang up, turn on the sports channel and watch women wrestle on WWF.

But me? I woman up and face the crisis and resolve it. So I say:

"Do you know Macy's has a half off sale" and the food blog never came up in the 45 minute call again.

Call done and the feet ache to rest and I think that my day couldn't have been as bad as my sister's who had to be a donkey , elephant and a kangaroo all in the same day depending on whether Straw( my nephew) wanted to go on fours or get on her back.

*************************************************************************************
And I close my eyes and imagine a white vast expanse of shell filled beach, a beach house and a warm cuppa coffee. Fellas, I have to ask ye wise minds. Is there some Get-rich-Quick scheme that makes me all Warren Buffety in no time so I can relinquish this paycheck to paycheck existence and hang up my heels once in for all?

Now before you go all Warren Buffety on me and say "Predicting the rain doesn't matter, building the ark does" let me tell you tweeples - I bought my lottery ticket on the way back home!!

Bah!!!

Related Posts: Who wants to be a a billionaire?

This entry was posted on Monday, May 11, 2009 at Monday, May 11, 2009 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

48 comments

How do i read your Blog name?

Btw:
Seriously have you read the Kamasutra? ..how can you read it ??... it better to watch it !

May 11, 2009

Oh boy you really had some day...LOL@"Sunday's leftovers get a makeover to become Monday's carryovers"...hope you get your car back soon so that you don't have to face anymore wierd cabbies.

May 11, 2009

Lol! You could henceforth plug in earphones and ignore nosy cabbies!
:D

May 11, 2009

Lol..LOL.. You actually gave him biriyani instead of a slap??!!!
LOL...

Keep up the dreamzz :)) they may just come true ;))

May 11, 2009

First the biriyani.. then the KS.. talk about slow and steady.
WOW... what a lowe

May 11, 2009

Yes, there is a get rich quick scheme. Marry the cabbie (he was actually Warren Buffet in disguise) !

Lol - you are in form

Who/What is Murphy ?

May 11, 2009

Good tea, corn-flakes and lafemmereva.blogspot.com, that's how I start my morning....!!

Now, don't ask me why tea with corn-flakes... ;)

May 11, 2009

aila! pepper spray! ll watch out!

btw, description of the raping of the fridge --> 10/10

lol..

May 12, 2009

@sree - wow!!! wattan opening comment..That's what I called a home run on the first ball! :)

Nopes!! abt the movie....er...No!!!

Me thinks action speaks louder than words or images :P

It means a Girl called Reva.

May 12, 2009

@rads - U betcha....!!! Nopes...The legality keeps me away from the car till Thursday!! :( Sigh!

May 12, 2009

@kaddu - All this outside the cab!! sigh!

May 12, 2009

@TW - Woman os sound and substance...Yes, in retrospect I guess I should have given one tight slap..Lola style!

May 12, 2009

@varun - 10? Not 11 :P Pepper spray will also come in handy for my cold!!

Multipurpose spray!!:)

May 12, 2009

@amol of course I will..Y tea with flakes? Inter continental breakfast :P

May 12, 2009

@Ramesh - Ah!!! Mister u r sinister!!!

Murphy is that invissibly guy around you all the time who delays ur flights when u reach the airport 1 hr early..Ensures that ur shirt button pos off on Monday morning..That Murphy and his crazy laws.!!

May 12, 2009

@saya - It was a "low"ely day!!! :P

May 12, 2009

LOL!!! :D i loved how you deal with the food blog issue :D

May 12, 2009

@LGL - Danke :)

May 12, 2009

oh my...kamasutra? really? haha...don't know what to say !

May 12, 2009

Hey .. I found your blog from Saya's blog and then from Kaddu's blog. I loved your writing and I've nominated you for an award on my blog. A black formal gown and an acceptance speech would be greatly appreciated.

May 12, 2009

Man.. the guts of that guy to ask a girl that. I mean no offence but well its a little wierd considering the place where we live in. I really can't stop laughing and imagining [the cabbie asking that question and your expressions ofcourse :)]...

May 12, 2009

hee hee. i came to your blog via a complicated detour. yeah, this is what i do during office hours. but i enjoyed it. of course perv cabbies are always a pleasure to read about : )

May 13, 2009

I know a few desi friends who use the line abt KS on firang babes. Didn't imagine that you had to suffer in exchange :).
Yes, one always hope for the lottery, but it is the cabby's optimism that is striking here.

Fun series :).

May 13, 2009

did the cabbie seriously ask you abt KS & briyani?? lol.. why do other nationalities think that we indians cook briyani and make mango lassi all the time..

May 13, 2009

As usual brilliant ... hysterical laughter fills my studio ... !!

BTW get rich quick scheme ... open a tea shop .... the one in front of my college has named it self Tea Kadai inc. and all and i gather they are about to be millionaires and stuff .... and in the US it would be a novel idea ...

May 13, 2009

Hey! A dull day at office led me to your blog through a meandering trail.
That incident with the cabbie was hilarious.
On a serious note - you could open up a place where they serve authentic Tandoori Chicken and Butter Chicken (Punjabi style) and I am sure you'll make it rich quick.
In the meantime - all the best with the lottery ticket :)

May 14, 2009

Lolzzz... this was fun... Americans know the Taj, Slums and Biryani and nothing much... and yeah, Blore since that ment jobs :P

May 15, 2009

Rayshma directed me here and I'm going to thank her for leading me to such an witty and entertaining blog!

Going to be back for sure :)

May 16, 2009

did u snatch the biryani back before running away?!

May 19, 2009

oh. yes.

I think most of em think that the kamasutra is a holy text!

also,

I love your beeelog.


and thank you for the comments!
meant a lot!

can I thank you enough?

ummm.
nah.

Im too lazy. sowwie;)

May 20, 2009

what my question is....

what the.

how come all la femme's are intellectually hot?

I mean there's lafemmenikita(kapow!).......

May 20, 2009

oh. my god.

she be online all the time, is it?

and there I thought that comment moderation was defective!!!

May 20, 2009

which also begs the question

not selectively replying to comments

lazy much?:P

May 20, 2009

@deluded - Delusion? Bah! If anything u brought me back to blogging reality! So kudos to you for that.

That said:

she is in the Mountain Time so if she needs to make a living she betetr be awake ..doing what? Don't ask! :P

The Heat: It takes one to know one..!!! So join the club of lafemmes and Homme. Note how I said Homme and not Homo!!! :)

Laziness: Laziness is a two way street. I invite you to be my neighbour in this street! :)

That said...U rock!

May 20, 2009

Rayshma : It was a day old biriyani :P So I left it with him. I haven't seen him in my neighbourhood. Im not surprised :D

May 20, 2009

@dewdropdream verty endearing name...hah!! makes me all dreamy!

come bay come!!! Ill serve you good biriyani :)

May 20, 2009

@lucifer:

The way things are we all soon have to go and open Tea kadai. I can be an item number girl from time to time in tea kadai. And also take care of the finances. Raju said he'll help me. U game?

May 20, 2009

@hemal : and thanks to them we know buffalo : since a certain Mr. O said "Say no to blore, Say yes to Blo!!"

wah!! Blo for buffalo..is that like suggesting Jlo has a twin!

May 20, 2009

@ajay - then u shud practically be ehre every day!!! every day is a dull day :) Danke!

May 20, 2009

@karsub: subbu...I have been busy hanging out subbu...i will come accept ur Blogscar, cry in my pink happie and thank all humans and animals.Danke Karsub!!Danke Karsub!!! Me is on a high!!! Like the Indian stock market!! :)

May 20, 2009

@ersa : maybe the KS will tell su what to say :P wat say huh?

May 20, 2009

@alteregosphere: yeah dont they know we can also make appams and coconut chutney! rascals I say!

May 20, 2009

@mukund: reaction. explosion I say! :)

May 20, 2009

hmm. thats too tempting.

doing WHAT?

haha.

neighbour?

Im the king of lazyland.

although Im thinking about renaming it to 'the land of the living dead-last of the mohicans'

thats more jazzy, dont you think? ;)

homme?
there's no ladude?
(ok. please dont take my mickey here by saying ladud, I cry, easily.)

that said, you do too!

Q: back to reality? how so?

May 20, 2009

@agentgreenglass: I am Proud of u!!! Very much!!! :):)Danke !

May 20, 2009

@brownphantom: with a name like "Phantom" if you had been with me that day I coul have told me an Indian spirit (Phantom) will haunt him if he springs such cheesy lines on a Bharathiya Naari!!

Come to my rescue Phantom!

May 20, 2009

So, are you saying that you dont always have a little tiffin box with briyani and raita that you carry around??

Come on now!!!

June 03, 2009

@ssquo

no I just carry kadalai curry and appam ;)

June 19, 2009

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