Showing posts with label Earth Day. Show all posts

I am very green. Not with envy. Or because of green moss sticking to me because of rolling over in my bed last night thanks to a splitting headache concomitant of the "Raw vegetables" I had at a "Green" dinner last night.

Bah!! Happy Earth Day!! Whichever planet you are reading this from.

I do not deem Mushroom to be a vegetable. No human should ever bring a mushroom to the kitchen unless to show his kid how an umbrella might look. They are better left in the garden to serve as umbrellas for the beetles.

While going green is mandatory, going nuts over it is very optional. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

So some Earth Day activities listed below are better confined to more restricted confines like a zoo, asylum or some reality show starring a Hollywood celebrity (Kim Kardashian!).

Save Papyrus: Refusing to take meeting notes on any form of papyrus is a very "green" way to avoid work all day. Avoiding the use of an alternative notepad on the computer is an even more "power saving" act. This may backfire. The boss knows some papers are green and should be conserved too. These green papers are rectangular and have the face of Washington stamped on them. They are called Greenbacks. Check Mate!

Plant a tree: In your backyard. Not the neighbour's. Earth Day may be celebrated on Vladimir Lenin's birthday, whose primary goal of destroying private property falls in line with the goal of environmentalists. This however cannot be used by you in your defence. Good fences make good neighbours.You will end up stewing in your own juice if the tree's branches (that you planted in your neighbour's backyard) come back to hug your house walls.

Green Greeting: Humans and cows have a special and sacred relation. In some countries they are worshipped. Say "Moo" instead of a "Hi baby" to that office secretary who wears shoes or jackets made from hides. No "Moo"t point that!

Battery: We all know battery life is a joke. They all die on us sooner or later, rechargeable or not. The joke will almost inevitably be on the hand that throws them into the dumpster. Go to www.rbrc.org for the nearest drop off location. Unless you want an early Independence Day(July 4) fireworks show at your dumpster.

Recycle your Recharge: Batteries aren't the only things that recharge. Gatorades do too. And we consume them by a dime a dozen. The pavements strewn with plastic bottles of Gatorade, or any such consumable fluid, are proof of that. It behooves us to trash them in a mannerly fashion. Emphasis mannerly. So huddling them all near the dumpster on a crowded parkway doesn't justify the adjective mannerly. It causes sound pollution when car drivers back out and trample over the plastic spills. Nature abhors annihilation. Use nature's imagination and used plastic to make a garden scoop. Works great for spreading compost (A friend with green hands gave this hint). Else dispose them at appropriate drop off locations.

Pool: I am not suggesting bathing in a public (swimming) pool to conserve water. Although in my hometown we bathe in a public river. No, Please don't bring this to the attention of Pamela Anderson, Rakhi Sawant or Mallika Sherawat. We don't want them spilling their Milkshake (Mallika has a milkshake named after her. Read here) or their clothes in the name of conservation. The pool in discussion here is Carpool. Public Transportation works too. Great way to meet new people and also have your morning cuppa in peace without having to do a balancing act between the wheel and the cuppa.

Power: The stuff megalomaniacs and farmers in Vidharba dream of. Have a candlelit dinner. But have a fire extinguisher handy! In case things go up ......in flames!!

Adopt a Pet: Say, a turtle. It's great inspiration. Teaches you to be slow and steady. Thereby winning the race. Please resist having it for dinner.

Better safe than savvy! Lest Mother Nature plays a joke on us making Earth day go down as our late reaction to Fool's day.

Maa Tujhe Salaam!!!!