It's a Girl!  

Posted by lafemmereva in ,

Hello People,

Please join the mother in welcoming her first newborn. The gender was determined by the fact that she was born with a skirt around her (The remnants of my gum surrounding the tooth refused to let go of the tooth and looked like a skirt had been wrapped around the tooth!A hawaiian one at that! Yeh Fevicol ka Bond hai! Tootega nahin! :)) It was not a normal delivery because the practitioner had to administer double shots of anesthesia and intervene with instruments which seemed like crowbars and hammers. The sutures are still healing and the mother is partially confident of returning to the workforce as planned unless she runs out of woodward gripe water to feed her daughter in the night! If you come across deals or coupons for the same please mail the Mother. The mother last heard that with the purchase of one bottle of Gripe water a baby was being given away free in China to overcome population explosion :)

She was born on April 2nd 2008 in the "Torture Chamber" a.k.a. Dentist's office in Franklin, Tennessee. Born in the land of free, She was a very healthy kid ("tooth") and weighed 5 Milligrams. She as a few congenital defects like discoloration of skin(The mother had coffee and chocolate cravings last few weeks owing to all the anxiety surrounding the birth, hence the slight discoloration. However the mother's favorite craving was not to be pregnant again). Her hair color is Blond (Her mother is a partial Blondie now :)). The mother refuses to disclose the identity of the father and has chosen to be a single mom( There were too many competitors for taking the paternity test and well men are well worthless anyways so the mother decided to spare the trouble of finding out:))

A few words about the pregnancy here..The pregnancy was determined pretty late mostly because it was not expected. The mother was unaware of unexpected pregnancies even after seeing "Juno" multiple times but has promised to watch it another 5 times to comprehend the complexities surrounding bringing the new born to the world!

Morning sickness and cravings were marked throughout the term and the mother would like to thank all those who stayed with her through the term and the labor. The mother did go through a lot of discomfort through the labor and during the Transit home but all that diminishes in comparison to the bundle of joy that lies in her hands now happily burping, farting,sleeping and pooping all day!

Parents of the new single Mom have chosen to estrange the new mother and the new born since their daughter refused to let Humpy (Bappi) Lahri hum(p). The Mother's reservations about Bappi Lahri was that if the kid turned out to be a girl (which it did!) Bappi Lahri would fight with his daughter for jewelleries and accessories since he himself dresses like a female anyways!
Nominations for being the Godfather and Godmother to the baby are open. The GodFather and Godmother shall get a lavish and sumptuous treat in the (nonexistent) FlyinSoup restaurant in Intl Plaza in Ashville and a free years supply of birth control mechanisms to prevent unexpected preganancies like these! They may also get a yearly honeymoon vacation in *1** Never-Ending Circle where they can spend intimate moments in a very relaxing environments accompanied by aromatherapy (obnoxious fumes from the dangerous eruptions of the occupant because of severe indigestion! :))

Suggestions for the name for the new born are welcome..If none come the mother has decided to choose from
"Muniamma Jameson"
(S)hakeela Sheik
"(S)ilk ) (S)m(i)atha!

Depending on how well her baby copes being alone in the world and how well her salary allows her another extraction the Mother the mother might expand the family in the near future and is looking at a maximum addition of 3 more who are currently in the making (The other 3 wisdom teeth are on their way out soon!)

A few magazines have already contacted the mother for a sneak peek into the nursery and the first few "exclusive" shots of the "Celebrity" new born and the mother. Depending on the "kickbacks" the mother shall appropriately decide which magazine will get the exclusives and once that magazine publishes it as the cover story and the issue gets recycled after a week the mother will sell the "exclusive" story to another tabloid! :D

The mother is currently trying to loose all the baby fat and is not open to visitors.She will make herself and her baby available in a few hours time....

The mother thinks of her stretch marks as medal of honor stripes for the battle she fought! :)

P.S. All the brouhaha above is about how I had my wisdom tooth extracted a few hours ago and a few other works done.....and I choose to keep the tooth as a souvenir who I am referring to as the newborn. Unable to bear the agony I have vented trying to cook a few smiles on the way in the oddest possible way! )

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 5, 2008 at Saturday, April 05, 2008 and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


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