It's raining Men - Hallelujah!  

Posted by lafemmereva in , , ,

Bah!! Not suffering from swine flu and all. Some other incurable plague - Laziness.

So I have waxed eloquent about movies (Look for articles tagged: With popcorn and friends) and music (Look for articles tagged: American Idol, Britain's Got Talent) but not much about that other thing that captures my fancy. Men. So here's to the beer drinking, couch warming , sports crazy species called M.E.N.

So amigos, forgive me for speaking up for my gender when I tell you that although we love you we will LEAVE you.
When (in glee)- You ask? Sleeping on couch are you? Or considering marrying one maybe?

Here's when.

Eve to Adam: " Honey! Those fig leaves you are wearing are so last season" .
Adam to Eve: "Sure honey! I'll get myself new ones" And he went and got himself a banana Leaf!

Run - For Cover: God made pants. And they were conjoined to the bodies of men from the day they were born.
And the pants looked forward to the laundry trips like the legs they were in looked forward to a trip to the dentist. Washing your clothes is not like setting up a Christmas tree. It needs to be done more than once a year. Atleast as often as you scheme to pack your girlfriend/wife off to her mother's.

Nose picking: You have signed your dating death certificate. You may want to save the "picking" effort for a rose/card for your Mother, since her day is soon approaching. Even better - Pick your kid from school. Your significant other might relax the "Laundry" regulation.

U.F.O.: WTF? You expect us to pluck our brows, wax our legs, do our hair ,paint our faces , go out to dinner with you so we can pile on calories and laugh at your jokes all the while wondering when some creature is going to zoom right at us from that amazon forest that grows on your head and your face, ranging anything from an Anaconda to a flying saucer, depending on how many trips to the hair salon were compromised for the larger "good" of plonking on the couch and watching IPL matches. Guys, get a clip or get nipped from our lives!

Rubber while Down Under? Even worse if we were to drop our spoon and we need to go down to get it, the wafting aroma from your socks could almost get us landed in ICU. Even if we miss that missile there's another visual spectacle awaiting us - You wearing rubber slippers for DINNER. Okay - Unless you are a yatch owning, graying-at-the-temples-in-a-sophisticated-way tycoon who is holidaying in some Hawaii/Mexico/Caribbean-y type destination, please put "rubber" to better use as a "protectionist-ic" measure than as a foot accessory.

Out of the bed a.k.a Grunge Look: Is best left in the bed. Do not cite mounting costs for the inability to afford a styling gel. Melt some candle and let it hold your hair together. Or any such non coconut oily option.

Man is a social Animal: So be kind to your kith and kin and stop getting them extinct. Leather Pants are a strict No-No unless you want to audition for Walker Texas Ranger or dream of owning a Harem in Vegas. Faded and Ripped Jeans leads us to believe that you got beaten by the crazy IPL fan at the sports bar last night when you told him "I pee as well".

Peek a Boo - Jockeys ride horses. We don't want your's to ride up or peek from the trousers that you change everytime Hailey's comet strikes earth. Same with Handkerchief and Comb. Bald Men - Please gloss over this sentence. Oh! those bright Orange combs!!!! What are you trying to remind us of with those bright orangy combs? Romantic Yellow Orangy hued Sunsets!!!! Time out! And the hanging Hanky - Next time I sight one I'll pull it out to gag your mouth.

Body Odour: Deodorant please? Okay let's negotiate - WD 40?

Feeling Hot: Think Summer. Think Beaches. Think Fat men with bellies that prevent view of their own feet. A sight that almost nearly causes our bellies to turn - in disgust. Less is more doesn't hold true here. Unless the "less" is referring to the lipids and not one's clothes. Even the Devil wears Prada so here's asking ye "Not so Salman Khan-y" men to run for cover.

Okay. Enough nitpicking guys. Just pay our bills. We'll work around the rest. We love you. Sometimes.

Bah!! I bet atleast one guy will backtrack a link to this post and have a spin off post on the quirks of women. Send me a link if you do, no? Let's spread the joy :P

P.S. Pls don't take it personally and send me hate mail :) You guys will see the mirth only no? This is the work of an overworked and bored mind. No offense meant at all. I totally love your gender - all shapes, kinds and color. Me also sits on the couch all weekend and sometimes outsources laundry and all.

Crap! U didn't hear that from me.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at Wednesday, April 29, 2009 and is filed under , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

80 comments

I've gotta be careful here. I stray off the course of saying things a 100% right, I can then visualise being chased by angry women with chappals and broomsticks! if i do, I'm really sorry, please, not a heel, ll slide for a flat one! :)

actually i can't say much cos the laundry or the socks or the fat belly or the bad hair doesn't really apply to me. yeah, I've had a fair share of some of those but now things are more on the perfect end of the scale. So no comments.

I'm actually writing an essay, for academic purposes on the intertwining of sexual desire and overt consumerism, you might wanna read that. I'll put that up for a review on my blog but, nothing chauvinistic in it.

Yea, the Devil Wears Prada, but wasn't Mario Prada a guy? please cut us some slack, at least for the ones who dont belong to these categories! and don't leave us! then there'd be a thicker amazon up our heads!

April 29, 2009

Revaness...

I cant even get started about the ones that wax loud and eloquent about not believin in marriage.
Sure shot way to scare a girl away.
unless of course they like being dumpeed ever before they are taken.;-) thats fun too

April 29, 2009

Yea. And sometimes between friends, we wonder, why are we still with these douche bags! Sigh! 'coz we somehow love them. Animal instinct. Magnetism probably.

April 29, 2009

This is one of the most outrageous, biased, prejudiced, humiliating, sardonic, hate speech I’ve ever come across, I mean after the last Al-Qaeda tape to the U.S government(whenever it was). You are so biased that you are talking about the ‘wafting aroma’ of our socks but totally goes blind on the shoe beneath that we borrowed from the national cowboy museum. You then go on saying about our IPL obsession, but completely ignores the more creative side of men - that we also like beach volleyball and F-TV. There are so many things that I want to counter argue here, unfortunately I just broke my office slippers, have to run to get it fixed. Will sure post a detailed reply to this hate-post through my blog because I’m so angry that I wish I’m Mayavathi and you are Varun Gandhi and this was an election speech.

April 29, 2009

@Santhosh You are absolutely hilarious!!!! And all my flatmates are actually laughing their guts out :D Varun Gandhi it seems :D:D:D U rock and are awesome!!! At first when I read your comment I was like "What" and then I re read and then the laugh- athon started!! :D

April 29, 2009

@Varun :) hahahaha!!!! nopes!!! we are with ye guys. Bill for you thrill for us :P

April 29, 2009

@saya :D dumped beforew being taken!!! Im Rofling!

April 29, 2009

@Kaddu - yes!!! yes!!! one friend was actually telling me about something similar on way back from work!!!

April 29, 2009

@Santhosh - BTW what brand slipper is it? :P Just out of curiosity!!!

April 29, 2009

If I had to write 'ALOL' for every time I actually-laughed-out-loud while reading your humorilicious post, there would be a lot of ALOLALOLALOLALOLALOL - which would make people think why am I looking for Lola in Reva's blog.
LOLA and ALOL aside, Reva - thou art aweshumest.
My reaction to the mention of IPL got my roommates wondering if I had that porcine flu thing. Or may be mad cow.
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN WD-40? :O I know we can be a little rustIC, but this is carrying to too far!

April 29, 2009

@kok - do you remember Lola Kutty? LOLA from MTV :d Tsk! Tsk!!! It's swine flu :D

April 29, 2009

U r so correct ... that's what we are ...!! I acknowledge your keen sense of observation and all other senses that you have used in producing such an apt and illustrious account of my species "Men".

See its very simple, if we were like Women "Wo" would have never followed "men" and there would'nt have been any more "men" or "women". Maybe its that agnostic aroma of the body and the socks and the various special so called "likes" that we have that get the "Wo" to follow the "men". That's just a theory, no proof so please no need for either of the species who do not agree with me on the fact that we emanate stink but are still sought after to get "emosunul" and all about it.

At the end of the day what matters is to establish known facts, one of which goes like "Men are from Mars and women form Venus" and Mars being closer to sun their species are hotter than their counterparts from Venus and maybe that's the reason they sweat more and stink more but in the end what matters is they are "HOT" !!!

April 29, 2009

@luci oh!! so u r actually living on borrowed "Hot"ness!!! :D

April 29, 2009

Ms.pattukujalambal! That was quite a bit of cocky humor coming from a cynical thayir saadam maami! :)) Do you have any idea how wonderful is the smell of sweaty socks combned with , uh , lemme think- coconut oil, perhaps?? hehe.. but with a post like that u have scared enuf martians away- I hope ur parents dint opt for the paid option on BM! what a waste of money!! That said, u have my blessings .. Thou shall find your prey- And I shall pray 4 that! ;)

April 29, 2009

@arun - ambi! Blessings and all --Danke..Darling and al u r ! I will send you a fresh pot of dolce and gabbana so your olfactory nerves can get some relief!!! coc oil + socks smell- I mean u even actually did smell test!!! Chemical engineer u r truly!!!!! :d

April 29, 2009

Yeah ... from the sun ... not from the poor dead bears soft silken fur coat ... [:)] .... !! Owwchh i thot u were lafemmereva not Maneka Gandhi ....!!! Lemme run for cover and shade before you beat me up blue black and jade ... ooooff ... owwwchh .. aahh !!!

April 29, 2009

@luci OOh!!! ur scared :D Martians hide for cover? :P

April 29, 2009

Yeah ... what to do ... our inter planet intelligence (I.P.I) taught us to fend ourselves from Nuclear warfare and guns and missiles even swords and stones, but they never taught us how to defend ourselves from broomsticks ... maybe that's the reason for domestic happiness all over the world? [;)] ... !! [:)] !!

April 29, 2009

be thnkful to men, cos if they wernt the way they are, u wudn have got the inspiration to write this one :P

and lol at arun's comment :P

April 29, 2009

What should i say on that...

I dint feel offended but to know all this all of asudden was a bit of shock to me..

BTW i had promised once to come backa nd hence it did...

P.S : Your space is blog rolled :)

P.P.S i was wondering if you could do so, ...... :D
P.P.P.S : only if you like to..:P

April 29, 2009

@luci - Brooms!!! U are watching too much Harry Potter!! :P

April 29, 2009

@sawan : Yes, yes Very thankful!!! for the bills..sorry er...Post!!! Good Blog fodder :P

April 29, 2009

@MS ...Done :)

April 29, 2009
Smitha  

WTF!!!! Like kara would say You are insanely, confusingly ,jaw droppingly refreshingly brilliant!! And Santhosh and Arun's comments are howlarious. BTW u forgot dirty fingernails!! :D

April 29, 2009

@Smitha - Finger? which one? Middle? :D

April 29, 2009

Oh my god, woman. I've read this three times so far...and every time I read it, I start laughing out loud. Awesome awesome awesome !!!

Peek a Boo and Feeling Hot - my favs...HA!

April 30, 2009
Ush  

Oi!!!! Wait..We do our laundry ok? I just rented a truck to take my year's laundry to laundromat :P And I did buy a new comb, after one bristle came off, actually 2 or maybe 3 or 4....:D

P.S. In case some eligible woman is reading this comment..Baby!!! This so is not me..who is the Me? I am the quintessential Prada shoes, YSL Perfume, Tommy Hilfiger u*die wearing pathological LIAR :d:d:d:d

April 30, 2009

@Ersa - Danke :) 3? Then u deserve 5 stars!! :) *****

April 30, 2009

@Ush - My girls are top notch!!! They don't fall for swayamvaram gimmicks!!! :D Really a truck? Bristle is off? Did you use it to scratch yourself? Yes? Where? God!!!

April 30, 2009

Seriously !!!! I cant write anything now .. I am ROFLMAOing :) :) :)
Too Good !!!!

April 30, 2009

and ya added ya to my list. hope you dont mind :)

April 30, 2009

man i'm scared... this article makes me think... are we M.E.N. such a blot on the face of the earth.. ohh my god!! r we really tht bad... hahahaha!!

April 30, 2009

@Prashanti Danke :) Me has added!

April 30, 2009

@Parv No!! U guys rock and are awesome!!!!

April 30, 2009

LOL...best take i've read on MEN...but must say, not all men are dirty or unorganized...@my home its me who's unorganized sometimes...never caught my hubby offgaurd till now...but i jus loved what you wrote...

April 30, 2009

I didn't visit your blog for 3 days and this is how you respond?? (with a tirade against my kind!) Self obsessed you are!! Either that or you are jealous that we men can get away with doing such wonderful things :P ...

This must be the first tirade that I read which made me laugh out loud.. Grudging respect for that.. *salute* *hats off*

April 30, 2009

@rads hahaha!!! yep there are quite some exceptions to the rule!

April 30, 2009

@sammy 3 days? u didn't see!!!! Im distressed!! :) all that respect has formed a cloud around my head and is holding it high!!! :)

April 30, 2009
Anonymous  

Living with a man for close to two years, I couldn't agree more with you.
Perhaps, you could also add their unshaven faces & uncut fingernails.
~Manju

April 30, 2009

@M :):):) Old spice and nail clippers should be sold as a package deal! Buy the after shave and get a clipper free!! :D

April 30, 2009

:-| Dumb folded and Laughed out Loud! :-D

April 30, 2009

a take on Women shoppers!

http://dynamic22.wordpress.com/2009/04/18/sophias-shopomania/

April 30, 2009

@hemal read and commented!

April 30, 2009
MV & T  

Dear Lafemmereva,

Unbelievable!!! Me is wondering which lucky man will get a chance to live with you!!! U will make his insides asides and every side hurt from laughter!!!

~Masala Vada and Tea ;)

My boyfriend says:

Lafemme U r mean and cruel to my ilk.

My laundry is uptodate. My girlfriend gets it done with hers.

I never go topless in the beach. I tie a towel.

I wear leather slippers not rubber.

I don't pick my nose. I just scratch myself in some odd places.

I never wear leather. Just jeans . Ripped and frayed a bit. Just a bit :P

U frock wearing rocker!!! :) U got me ROFLing !

April 30, 2009

Then there's this Miss called La femme reva
She makes men wince and she sounds very cleva
God! If she ever has her way
And that's quite possible I'd say
She'd put all men in a dishwasher foreva.
Phew!

May 01, 2009

Well you sure are correct about a lot of things about boys... but unfortunately most of the guys do it when alone, not when out with a girl!!

In fact i cant think of why a guy would do any of that when out with a guy!! Although i would agree with your friend Saya here that a lot of guys might think not wanting to marry would sound cool!!

By the way if you did go out with someone who did even one of the thing you mentioned, then poor you!! You sure did pick a bad one!! :):):)

May 01, 2009

love ur space! :)

May 01, 2009

@anil - Thanks a ton!! :) u r requested to come back often!

May 01, 2009

@rayshma - Me saw ur blog too!!! and left my comments der! Thanks for visiting!

May 01, 2009

@Yogesh Let us say da lafemme has seen it all - The good , The bad and The ugly :)

May 01, 2009

@roflindian I thoroughly enjoyed reading your comment as much as I did writing my post!!! A well written comment is like a beauty mark on a gorgeous face (post) :) Remember Cindy Crawfor mole?

Brilliant!

May 01, 2009

absolutely loved your take on M.E.N.. that apart.. your writing style is very good, a lot of free flow humor... glad i chanced on ur site..

May 01, 2009

Love your take on the other sex! I thank heavens my Kid#1 got married - at least there are two of us women now ..... Men!!! But I love 'em

May 01, 2009

There are well defined reasons for most of the actions you've mentioned. :). I won't defend "Peek a Boo" though.

May 02, 2009

@A J Called Life : Danke:) Danke :) Me is yappy!! Pls keep coming!

May 02, 2009

@phoenixritu Danke! me too!!! all kinds :D

yes, 2's company but 3 will be crowd!!! Kid#2 has any ace up the sleeve :P

May 02, 2009

@brown phantom :D Now pray what are the "well defined reasons" :P

May 02, 2009

I agree with everything that you say, We love wtching cricket and football (not only IPL) even if its a match happening at some god forsaken place. You should actually be grateful that we don't do our hair and eyebrows and don't dress uo that well as it makes you look better and we like that as well.
A point that you forgot may be is that we don't do all these things cause we are just pure lazy (when we get the time obviously) and in turn indifferent towards them.

My first time on your blog, so I think I said a little too much...
A very well written post though...
Will come back for more...

May 03, 2009

Let them be unknown to u. Just relish their manifetations :).

Blogrolled u .

May 03, 2009

lol I simply loved this one . you are awesome my girl :D

thanks for appreciating my mother's day entry I have reached the to ten. now vote for me to win
http://indusladies.com/partners/poll1.php

May 03, 2009

Get your facts right lassie - its a pink comb we use; not orange.

Stumbled on your blog by chance. Cracking writer you are. What the heck are you doing in boring IT ??

May 04, 2009

Smooth Operator... stops dead in his tracks!! Funny but did it take 6 days to ebb into a full-blown harangue?! Pants conjoined to the bodies of men?.. legs looking forward to a trip to the dentist?.. Am glad it's just the work of an overworked n bored mind not that of a alert/spirited one. Except for the 'rubber' and 'banana leaf', not many tidy 'pick'ings here :(

May 04, 2009

@Mukund - Thanks for visiting!

"You should actually be grateful that we don't do our hair and eyebrows and don't dress uo that well as it makes you look better and we like that as well"
--Oh! and now u r sparing us the competition. We, ladies stand up and thank you immensely for the favor!! :P

Lazy - If there were a sale of buffalo wings or maybe an IPL match in your neighbourhood then? Lazy are we!!! :P

Pls do come back :)

May 04, 2009

@Ramesh - Sigh! Ramesh. Apologise. Pink it is. You wish, my command! :)

Thanks for visiting and the nice words. U made the lafemme very very yappy!

U ask -"What the heck are you doing in boring IT ??"

Lafemme: I have been asked that many times and have even been verbally and physically assualted by a few well meaning frens. Pure laziness I say to follow Life's calling.

U in IT?

May 04, 2009

@tikulicious - Ah! feeling the love!! Danke!

My vote for you is given!! But what is your election symbol? Shoe :P That's the trend now!! :D

May 04, 2009

@smoothoperator Uh Oh!!! The lafemme also has a day job that helps her make a living. So she is writing intermittently.

U stopped dead? Y???? U realised you had a dentist appointment :P

Me will tickle u next time around. God promise! :)

May 04, 2009

hey nice blog. keep it up

May 04, 2009

To ebb as in the idea not the blog itself :) To 'afford' ur views on men (from the Bills..Thrills..To all other ills), itz better u have a day job and make a living so ur writing holds much water [An 'MCP' whizzing past ur thots?!. Let it just whizz. Dont hold on to it ;)]

Some guys may be tick(l)ed off but a tickle I'd love for sure :D

May 04, 2009

@shine Danke:)

May 04, 2009

rotfl@'dating death certificate'

nice blog

May 05, 2009

yay! somebody else is taking on men!
come and read ... new posts... :)

May 05, 2009

I'm blogrolling you, hope you don't mind...

May 05, 2009

@Ersa - sure Np!

May 05, 2009

@Phatichar :) maybe in some cases it is a gift certificate for the girl :P

May 05, 2009

@LGL - On my way there!

May 05, 2009

Pls don't take it personally and send me hate mail
You didn't need that disclaimer, "naari sashaktikaran" was very much evident :)

Well, most of WE (the congenitally chauvinistic blokes) take pride in few more things that you've missed here - squeezing pimples, lips chewing and the inevitable khujli.

Good work lady, part 2 is awaited.

May 07, 2009

@nischaya

he he! U r true sport!!! but you guys are good u know, some of you are.

Danke :)

June 19, 2009
Anonymous  

nice post. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did anyone learn that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

January 18, 2010
Anonymous  

Hello. And Bye.

March 01, 2010

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