Bah!! Not suffering from swine flu and all. Some other incurable plague - Laziness.
So I have waxed eloquent about movies (Look for articles tagged: With popcorn and friends) and music (Look for articles tagged: American Idol, Britain's Got Talent) but not much about that other thing that captures my fancy. Men. So here's to the beer drinking, couch warming , sports crazy species called M.E.N.
So amigos, forgive me for speaking up for my gender when I tell you that although we love you we will LEAVE you.
When (in glee)- You ask? Sleeping on couch are you? Or considering marrying one maybe?
Here's when.
Eve to Adam: " Honey! Those fig leaves you are wearing are so last season" .
Adam to Eve: "Sure honey! I'll get myself new ones" And he went and got himself a banana Leaf!
So I have waxed eloquent about movies (Look for articles tagged: With popcorn and friends) and music (Look for articles tagged: American Idol, Britain's Got Talent) but not much about that other thing that captures my fancy. Men. So here's to the beer drinking, couch warming , sports crazy species called M.E.N.
So amigos, forgive me for speaking up for my gender when I tell you that although we love you we will LEAVE you.
When (in glee)- You ask? Sleeping on couch are you? Or considering marrying one maybe?
Here's when.
Eve to Adam: " Honey! Those fig leaves you are wearing are so last season" .
Adam to Eve: "Sure honey! I'll get myself new ones" And he went and got himself a banana Leaf!
Run - For Cover: God made pants. And they were conjoined to the bodies of men from the day they were born.
And the pants looked forward to the laundry trips like the legs they were in looked forward to a trip to the dentist. Washing your clothes is not like setting up a Christmas tree. It needs to be done more than once a year. Atleast as often as you scheme to pack your girlfriend/wife off to her mother's.
Nose picking: You have signed your dating death certificate. You may want to save the "picking" effort for a rose/card for your Mother, since her day is soon approaching. Even better - Pick your kid from school. Your significant other might relax the "Laundry" regulation.
U.F.O.: WTF? You expect us to pluck our brows, wax our legs, do our hair ,paint our faces , go out to dinner with you so we can pile on calories and laugh at your jokes all the while wondering when some creature is going to zoom right at us from that amazon forest that grows on your head and your face, ranging anything from an Anaconda to a flying saucer, depending on how many trips to the hair salon were compromised for the larger "good" of plonking on the couch and watching IPL matches. Guys, get a clip or get nipped from our lives!
Rubber while Down Under? Even worse if we were to drop our spoon and we need to go down to get it, the wafting aroma from your socks could almost get us landed in ICU. Even if we miss that missile there's another visual spectacle awaiting us - You wearing rubber slippers for DINNER. Okay - Unless you are a yatch owning, graying-at-the-temples-in-a-sophisticated-way tycoon who is holidaying in some Hawaii/Mexico/Caribbean-y type destination, please put "rubber" to better use as a "protectionist-ic" measure than as a foot accessory.
Out of the bed a.k.a Grunge Look: Is best left in the bed. Do not cite mounting costs for the inability to afford a styling gel. Melt some candle and let it hold your hair together. Or any such non coconut oily option.
Man is a social Animal: So be kind to your kith and kin and stop getting them extinct. Leather Pants are a strict No-No unless you want to audition for Walker Texas Ranger or dream of owning a Harem in Vegas. Faded and Ripped Jeans leads us to believe that you got beaten by the crazy IPL fan at the sports bar last night when you told him "I pee as well".
Peek a Boo - Jockeys ride horses. We don't want your's to ride up or peek from the trousers that you change everytime Hailey's comet strikes earth. Same with Handkerchief and Comb. Bald Men - Please gloss over this sentence. Oh! those bright Orange combs!!!! What are you trying to remind us of with those bright orangy combs? Romantic Yellow Orangy hued Sunsets!!!! Time out! And the hanging Hanky - Next time I sight one I'll pull it out to gag your mouth.
Body Odour: Deodorant please? Okay let's negotiate - WD 40?
Feeling Hot: Think Summer. Think Beaches. Think Fat men with bellies that prevent view of their own feet. A sight that almost nearly causes our bellies to turn - in disgust. Less is more doesn't hold true here. Unless the "less" is referring to the lipids and not one's clothes. Even the Devil wears Prada so here's asking ye "Not so Salman Khan-y" men to run for cover.
Okay. Enough nitpicking guys. Just pay our bills. We'll work around the rest. We love you. Sometimes.
Bah!! I bet atleast one guy will backtrack a link to this post and have a spin off post on the quirks of women. Send me a link if you do, no? Let's spread the joy :P
P.S. Pls don't take it personally and send me hate mail :) You guys will see the mirth only no? This is the work of an overworked and bored mind. No offense meant at all. I totally love your gender - all shapes, kinds and color. Me also sits on the couch all weekend and sometimes outsources laundry and all.
Crap! U didn't hear that from me.
Related Posts:
How Not to loose a Job in a day
Okay. Enough nitpicking guys. Just pay our bills. We'll work around the rest. We love you. Sometimes.
Bah!! I bet atleast one guy will backtrack a link to this post and have a spin off post on the quirks of women. Send me a link if you do, no? Let's spread the joy :P
P.S. Pls don't take it personally and send me hate mail :) You guys will see the mirth only no? This is the work of an overworked and bored mind. No offense meant at all. I totally love your gender - all shapes, kinds and color. Me also sits on the couch all weekend and sometimes outsources laundry and all.
Crap! U didn't hear that from me.
Related Posts:
How Not to loose a Job in a day
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, April 29, 2009
at Wednesday, April 29, 2009
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Jest for Jolly,
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