How (Not) to loose your job in a day - Part 3  

Posted by lafemmereva in , ,

Part 2 is here

Dress to Kill: Looking the part is almost always as important as doing the part for a raise or even to stay where you are. So if all else fails, dress the part. If your aim is to be at home on that couch then begin to dress the part NOW!!!

Wear Boxer shorts/lungi (preferably pink)/sleeveless night gowns (if you are a female),Slippers/Sandals(Unisex -No gender distinction or shoe polish here!). DO NOT Iron your clothes. Go for the out-of-the-bed grunge look. Remember Main Hoon Na!? If you are a female wear jewelry like you are modeling for a jewelry ad. All that sheen and the dazzling brilliance from your jewelry will blind your co-worker's eyes and ruin their concentration thereby causing them to make mistakes. This way along with yourself you can actually ensure many co-workers exit too. After all misery loves company!


* Comb you hair. Be Natural. If possible Oil your hair with any herbal oil the smell of which can drive even a skunk away. You don't blow dry your hair to be at home do you?The aim is to kill two birds with one stone - Make sure you are sent home and ensure that you start acclimatising yourself to the way you are going to live after your mission of being shown the door out of work is accomplished.

* Use a Deodorant: Go Green. Deodorants are toxic. You are the (meeting minutes document)
shredding-recycling-not-deodorant-wearing types.

* Eat Garlic: An apple a day keeps a doctor away. A garlic a day keeps everyone away ....

* Update your contact info: Unless you want to be contacted about your pension fund deposit
do not update your contact info anywhere. Leave a fake number in
your email signature - for example a cab service.

Co-Worker : Hello, can you tell us how to fix this code?
Cabbie : Where are you right now?
Co-Worker : Im in the 12th line.
Cabbie : Sure sending a cab right away to 12th street

Leave the rest to the mexican cabbie and your co-worker.

And even if by now you have survived all attempts like in a God Of War game and are still gainfully employed, that my dear friend is sure shot sign that recession or not you will be fine because you are a survivor, and a damned determined one at that! Ergo, Your job is for you to keep for Lady Luck is smiling on you and like it or not you are a damned good worker OR you are the BOSS of the company to get away scot free!!

So which one are you?
Me too….A damned good worker :)

This entry was posted on Friday, March 13, 2009 at Friday, March 13, 2009 and is filed under , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


Hey, first time visitor to your blog!!! :) Good one, really enjoyed readong all parts of this post!! :)

May 14, 2009

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