Motherhood is a myth - Straw sucks - Is what my sister had to say when I spoke to her this morning after BRUSHING, FLOSSING and SWISHING the MOUTHWASH in my teeth
(Death potion) 2 times.

Here I share with you all some core management concepts that I took away from the hour long conversation. I wish I could pass on the tummy ache that I got from laughing during the call.

Most kids lock themselves in the loo. But not my Straw (1.9 yr old nephew) the future management guru! Straw locked his mother in loo, eventually let her out and got kudos from his Grandparents for knowing how to unlock the bathroom door.
Management lesson: Outwit your enemy. Corner him when no one is around and then publicly free him. You will become a corporate hero.

When my sister feeds straw, who is a glutton for mischief and sadly not food, he decided to take matters into his tiny hands. Everytime took her hand to his mouth he cunningly twisted it back to her mouth feeding her with his food instead, making her fatter.
Management lesson: Floor your aggressor with your innocence and make them eat their own humble pie. Deflect all missiles (read attempts to make you work) deftly! Corporate maneuver ing.

Carries a sad face when she reprimands him.
Management lesson: Always let your bosses have the first say but have the last word. And the pout,, smile and floor them with your magnetic charm. If you are a woman you know what the last word, pout and charm are all about.
Fake it. Gain sympathy.

The neighborhood girl bullied and humiliated Straw because she could run faster than him. The next day he stood in the balcony with a menacing look on the face when she came from school and blew the wind out of her.
Management lesson: Look aggressive. Looking the part gets half the work done.

Straw hides underwear under the bed. When my sister or her family try to find it he "locates" it (wink! Wink!) for them and gets praised for his “finding” skills.
Management lesson: Plant an issue. Hide it where no one else can find it. Then find it and claim credit. Account Director material – Finding work extensions for the organization!

Straw undresses and dances on the table to entertain his mother just when she is about to slap the little rascal for the hard time he gives her.
Management lesson: We have all heard of the fabled wolf that comes in sheep's or Prada or Calvin Klein clothes to devour the sheep. Which brings us to realize that in the modern corporate jungle we need to dress or undress for the part. If you were working for David Letterman or Bill Clinton you probably undressed.

Although he is the darling of the house he looked to conquer other hearts. And how he did that is a classic management concept.
When my father calls Straw he answers the phone and asks who is speaking. And after he does the voice recognition check on my dad he hands the phone to my sister acting super cool and blasé like which panics my dad who thinks he is probably not giving Straw the time and attention he deserves because of his work schedule. He asks my sister to hand the phone back to him so he can pamper him with nice words.
Double bonus here. 2 lessons from one act.
Management lesson 1: Act cool and indifferent. Like you don’t give a damn. People would then want to be on your "priority" list. Be an attention whore, Only don't oversell! Downplay. Less is sometimes more.
Management lesson 2: Even when business is good (at home), don't stop looking for new opportunities(outside of home).

But the sisterhood of lafemmereva had the last laugh.

Straw’s doctor classified him underweight and put him on a strict rich diet that requires him to eat 6 times a day with a target weight to be achieved in 3 weeks. Else he has to swallow a bitter pill everyday!

He ! he! BS (B*llshit) may get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. There, classic management lesson!

And my sister, like every other woman, had the last word.

It was what our quick gun and very fun Murugan would say - Mind it, Baby!

So how do we forget these core competencies when we grow up and go to our workplaces and reach out to self help books by authors that laugh their way to the bank simply for feeding us we were fed on as toddlers?

Because between taking your first steps and when you climb the first rung of the corporate ladder is a quarter life crisis that the author will write about, live from the loo, soon. Yes, From the loo! because that is the only time my bladder, intestine and mind are brimming with creative and other juices.

Right now I have to go blame my flat mate for burning the toast that I accidentally left in the toaster :P